Safe Chaos

I didn’t realize how loud love could be…. until I heard it echo through the walls of my house.

My spouse is in one room. My child in another. And they’re both completely absorbed in what they’re doing.

They’re making sounds—not for me, not for each other— Just… because their minds and bodies need somewhere to put the thought.

My spouse is humming. It’s the tune from Sesame Street.

My son is answering in beeps and boops— a language that’s entirely his own.

Layered between them are various devices all playing different programs, the hum of the dishwasher, and the invasion of the outside world’s noises.

So there is humming, beeping, dialogue, and music—all happening together simultaneously.

For a lot of people, this would sound like chaos. Like distraction. Like too much.

But here’s the thing. No one is dysregulated. No one is overwhelmed. No one needs to be told to quiet down.

This is what regulation looks like for them.

At first, my brain wants to organize it. Make it quieter. Make it make sense.

But then I realize something important.

I’m the only one listening.

They’re not interrupting each other. They’re not competing for space.

They’re coexisting.

And suddenly the noise doesn’t feel like chaos anymore.

It feels like proof.

Proof that this house holds space for minds that hum, and chirp, and repeat, and echo.

Proof that neither of them has to be quiet to feel safe.

Here, they don’t have to mask. They don’t have to preform calm.

They’re allowed to meet their sensory needs out loud.

This is our family song.

And I know it sounds like chaos to a lot of people—. But to me it sounds like safety.

It sounds like freedom.

It sounds like two people I love being their authentic autistic selves—. In a home that lets them be.

So if your home sounds like this —or whatever it sounds like— You’re not alone.